Andy and I met in the Spring of 2004, started dating in October of the same year. We got engaged in February of 2007 and married the following year in June. We moved to Wake Forest, NC where Andy started seminary at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He will graduate this May with his Master's. Praise the Lord.
When we got married, we knew we wanted to have children. We had our names picked out and everything. We wanted two boys and two girls. After our first year of marriage, we wanted to start having children. In October of 2009, we learned we were expecting our first baby!!! We were so excited, we could not wait to tell our families! We told them and everyone was over the moon excited for us. We went in November for our first ultrasound to check on the baby. They put the wonderful cold gel on my tummy and there was no heart beat. We found out that we had a miscarriage. To say we were devastated, would be a understatement. I was crying and just so confused. It is a rush of emotions that I can't explain. You go in happy as can be and then your emotions are thrown under the bus. I remember thinking, I never thought this would happen to me!!
This was the week before Thanksgiving and I felt like I had nothing to be thankful for. My baby had just died why should I be happy? I really just wanted to lay in my bed and cry. I was so angry and hurt and confused. I did not know what to do with myself. This is where my wonderful hubby came in. He reminded me of something that we started while we were in college at Kennesaw. In every situation, we must learn to Praise the Lord. This is something that did not come easy for either of us, but it was something that we had to learn to do to grow in our relationship with the Lord and with each other. Let me just say this: in this situation, this was the last thing I wanted to do. But over time and prayer we were able to get through it and learn to say Praise the Lord!!
A couple of months went by and after our hearts had healed (as much as they could) we wanted to start trying again. We prayed and asked that the Lord be with us during this time and His will be done. We got pregnant in February and went for our ultrasound in March. This time there was a heart beat, but she said maybe we were not as far a long as I thought. From what she could tell, everything looked good and she would have a doctor look over it and have them call me. The doctor called me and said that everything looked good. So we were excited, but still very nervous that everything would be ok. We went in for our 11th week check up and the doctor knew our history and wanted to do an old school ultrasound so we could see and not listen for the heartbeat and get scared that we would not find one. Sometimes when you go in for the 1st doctor's visit, the heartbeat is sometimes hard to find. With that knowledge, we were ok with the ultrasound. So she put the cold gel on my tummy and there was nothing there. No heart beat or anything. We were then taken to the new machine and more cold gel and they could see where the baby had dis-attached from me and had past away. Let's just say that the second time around is 10x worse than the second. I am not sure if it was because we were further along that time or what, but it was terrible. We were scheduled for a D & C later that week. With this being my second miscarriage, they wanted to do testing to see if there was a problem with me or Andy.
So we had the testing done and a few months later we found out that Andy has a balanced translocation of chromosome 15 and 18. If short, this means that part of 15 and 18 have switched places attaching to the correct part of the corresponding chromosome. We also found out with this, our babies would either survive or not make it past conception. We had answers, but it was still very difficult.
With the passing of our second baby, we decided that we wanted to wait awhile before trying again. During this time, we were praying and seeking what the Lord would have us to do. Would I ever be ready for this again? I knew that the Lord would be faithful as He always is. So we had decided that we would start trying again in October. We got pregnant in November of 2011. I was scared to death. I was scared to move or do anything. I was also very excited at the possibility of having a child. Side note: Our OB office had moved to a different location. To some this would not be a big deal, but for me it was. I had prayed about this. I did not want to go into the same room where we had lost our other babies. I almost decided to start going somewhere new so we could have a fresh start. But then again, this office knew our history and we really liked them. So we decided to stay. The Lord was faithful in the most little things.!!! We went in on December 23rd for our ultrasound. While in the waiting room, I kept telling Andy I can't do this, I can't do this. I was so scared and nervous. I knew if the baby did not make it, it was going to be a long way home for Christmas. Andy encouraged me, saying that we were going to make it through.
Finally, my name was called and we were taken to the room. My heart was about to beat out of my chest and I closed my eyes. The wonderful gel was applied. I was holding Andy's hand and the ultrasound had started. The tech was looking and turned up the machine. The heartbeat was 168 and it was the best sound I had ever heard in my life. Tears started coming down my face and I just kept saying, Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus! She kept moving around looking and said everything was where it needed to be and looked good!!! She said congrats and we were on our way!! When she left the room, we got down on our knees and Praised the Lord for what He had done and was going to do. We were so excited!
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